Tuesday, 14 May 2013


So here is the deal. My dearest girlfriend likes to brag about my blog. To her friends. And I don't like some of those friends. I would have never told them to read my blog (not this one, the other blog with my real name). Things between those friends and us have gone a bit bad recently. To the extent I can't any longer write on my blog. My Own Blog.

So that is why I have been writing all these tit-bits on this blog. I still need a place to vent and since I have been evicted from my own personal blog, I am 'crashing on' this place to vent. I feel kind of home less. Well I have been feeling like a homeless for about two years now in real life but now I am a homeless in virtual life as well . Yes, I resent it and no, I haven't had 'the fight' about this with my girlfriend yet. I can see it coming though. Soon.

Anyway, just wanted to put it there in case some one is wondering about the sudden increase in my posts on this blog. Please bear with me.

Monday, 13 May 2013

To include or not to include...

...my PhD as an experience in my LinkedIn profile? A lot of my friends have included PhD as a work experience (Research Assistant) but I am not entirely sure that it counts as an experience anywhere. Does any one know?

P.S.: For some reason I have become very obsessed with my LinkedIn profile recently. I am not even looking for a job. I just want my LinkedIn profile to look good. 

Sunday, 12 May 2013

Witches of Eastwick, the Musical

After a long time, I (well, we as in Girlfriend and I) went to watch theater. The magical, magnificent world of live performance. The only reason why I will, if ever, settle down in London. My only attraction of London. It wasn't a Westend production. It was a local theater but the performance of the artists were amazing. 

Life is looking up again. Hope it lasts this time.

P.S.: Yes, I was one of those annoying people who took out their mobile phone in middle of the performance and took a picture (no flash though, if it helps my case). 

Saturday, 11 May 2013


People reminiscence about their happy childhood so often. They actually want to go back to that time period of their life. I, on the other hand, always thank my star that I am no longer there.

I wouldn't call my childhood particularly bad. I was not abused, I was not beaten and I did not starve. But I did have a peculiar family. Different from any one in the neighborhood. We weren't poor but we were the poorest in our neighborhood. We were the last one to buy everything. We were the last ones to buy a scooter (never bought a car), to buy a colour TV (never had a VCR), to have a telephone, we didn't go to the best schools etc. You get my drift. We were the bottom of that status ladder.

And then there was my family, My dad really didn't like to socialize much which meant we were never invited in any neighborhood socializing events (I watched/heard them having fun through the window/door of our apartment and hear them discussing it the next day). My brother never did academically well. He gave up studies after 12th std. which was a huge scandal in our academic-oriented small town and particularly in the university campus I grew  up  in. But it was more than social status and social isolation.

My brother ran away from home three different times. For months we didn't know where he was. He eventually did return home every time. He is about a decade older than me. When I was struggling to walk, he was riding a bike with confidence. He was the coolest person I knew when I was growing up. I would try to copy everything he did. Those disappearances were not easy for me to handle.

My mom attempted suicide at least four times in my memory. I remember one particular time when she swallowed pesticides and was rushed to the hospital. My dad and brother went along. I was about 11 years old, all by myself sitting in the house mandir for the whole day, not knowing what's going on. She survived each time. Thankfully.

My dad threatened to leave us and go away at least 5-10 times in my memory. I do not remember the reason why he did that but it scared me the worst. Thankfully, he never followed it through.

One of my recurring nightmare was that all my family is gone and I am left by myself. My biggest worry growing up was if that ever happens, how would I finish my school education? I couldn't have become independent unless I finish my school. I couldn't have gotten a decent job anywhere without proper school education.

As a teenager, I got introduced to competition magazines like GK Today and competition success review. I got my parents to subscribe and would finish all the published question papers beginning to end every month. I was very certain that if I pass my 12th grade, I will be able to pass the bank clerical exams in my first attempt (it used to surprise me to hear that people actually fail that exam. I used to score up to 90% in those exams). I was fairly certain that if I could finish my college degree, I can easily clear Bank Probationary Officer's exams. So I was very glad when I finally reached my 12th grade. All those years of uncertainty was finally gone.

I am now in the third decade of my life and I still sincerely do not wish to be that little girl again who just wanted to finish her school education. Somehow, anyhow.

So yes, I do envy you if you are one of those people who would love to go back to their childhood but I do not want to go back to mine. However, that childhood did shape up rest of my life. It made me a dedicated student. It made me fiercely independent. It made me a hard worker. It brought me where I am so I do not lament it.

P.S.: I struggled to decide about whether to put this on a public space like blog. This stuff belongs behind the closed doors of a psychiatric session. However, the beauty of pseudonym and less follower is that may be I can get away with this.  I hope.