Monday 10 June 2013

Prejudices

Its yet another career oriented post. Guess I am getting a teeny tiny bit frustrated at the moment.

Anyhoo, here is the deal. My manager, who is Europe educated, is not fond of ivy leagues. On top of it, he is not very politically correct person, which means he does not suppress his disliking. That also means I am at the receiving end.

Today morning (bad Monday morning), he imitated how an Ivy league person introduce him/her self in a meeting:

"I am from... (pause) XYZ university".

Then he turns around asked me if they teach us how to do that in the school. All this because someone in the management meeting last week was impressed that I have a degree from Ivy league (they were discussing our promotion etc in the meeting when he found out). That annoyed him.

I don't say I don't pause before speaking my university's name aloud. I usually avoid mentioning my university's name, if I can hep it. Usually people react in two ways. Either they are very impressed and fawn over (seriously. Am not joking), or they roll their eyes thinking I am yet another arrogant ivy league student. I hate both the reactions.

Yes, I went to Ivy league. But I do not ask anyone to judge me based on that fact alone. I did my undergrad from a very sub-standard university (we called it Chu-chu university). I do not ask anyone to judge me based on it either.

Why don't people get over their prejudice and judge people by their actions and not by the labels? Its so irritating.

Sometimes…

The mobile phones these days.have amazing screens. Like my Samsung SIII. The pictures I take looks absolutely stunning. They look quite ordinary in the real life.

The only two pictures I liked from my recent Instagram experiments are here. Yes, sometimes I do like pictures I take.

I guess I like these one particularly due to the leading lines in the composition (yes, I did compose that way). Wish I can compose all my Instagram pictures so nicely..

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Sunday 2 June 2013

Ambitions


I am putting away all my humility away for today. Today, I am going to talk about how good I am. In my field of work, that is. I am not saying this to boast or stroke my ego. It is a fact and I am just stating it. I have worked for four different companies so far and all of them have marked me as an exceptional employee. I am a hard worker, I am a team player, I am brilliant, I work well under stress, I communicate well, I help others out and I take initiatives. I am the best employee you can ask for.

Again, I am not trying to boast (okay, may be a little bit). Merely stating facts. As I said, every company I have worked for has identified me as exceptional and all my managers think I have great potential.

Great potential. I want to use my 'great' potential to reach as high as I can but can I? I work in a male dominant field. The board of all the major companies in my field consists of white males only. I am a female. I am an Indian female.

Most of the companies in my field are either based in or have major offices in US, South America, Africa, South-East Asia and Middle-East. I am a female. An Indian female. And I am a lesbian.

Should I dare to be ambitious?

About a year ago I was in a course. We had participants from Egypt, Oman, Azerbaijan, Africa and few Europeans. During the team exercises, guys from middle-eastern countries will not even talk to me. If I say something, they will answer to the nearest male next to me. This was just because I am a female. How will they react if they learn I am a lesbian?

How far will I be able to reach despite being good  at what I do (and love it) if I have to deal with cultural differences like these? Again, should I even dare to be ambitious?

Can I ever be open about my sexuality at my work? Should I be? My company, being a Europe based company, has non-discrimination policy but the glass ceiling still exist. There are no non-white or female high level managers in the company. Would I add an extra layer of ceiling to my progress by being out at work?

I love my job. I love my field. And I am good at it. Really good. But I am scared to dream big. I am scared of my growing ambitions. Partly because I do have some self doubt (I am not a narcissist)  and partly because I am not sure how far can I really reach. Am I dreaming too big? Should I consider my race, my gender and my sexual orientation along with my ability when I set up goals for myself?

* Image linked to its source.