Sunday, 2 June 2013


I am putting away all my humility away for today. Today, I am going to talk about how good I am. In my field of work, that is. I am not saying this to boast or stroke my ego. It is a fact and I am just stating it. I have worked for four different companies so far and all of them have marked me as an exceptional employee. I am a hard worker, I am a team player, I am brilliant, I work well under stress, I communicate well, I help others out and I take initiatives. I am the best employee you can ask for.

Again, I am not trying to boast (okay, may be a little bit). Merely stating facts. As I said, every company I have worked for has identified me as exceptional and all my managers think I have great potential.

Great potential. I want to use my 'great' potential to reach as high as I can but can I? I work in a male dominant field. The board of all the major companies in my field consists of white males only. I am a female. I am an Indian female.

Most of the companies in my field are either based in or have major offices in US, South America, Africa, South-East Asia and Middle-East. I am a female. An Indian female. And I am a lesbian.

Should I dare to be ambitious?

About a year ago I was in a course. We had participants from Egypt, Oman, Azerbaijan, Africa and few Europeans. During the team exercises, guys from middle-eastern countries will not even talk to me. If I say something, they will answer to the nearest male next to me. This was just because I am a female. How will they react if they learn I am a lesbian?

How far will I be able to reach despite being good  at what I do (and love it) if I have to deal with cultural differences like these? Again, should I even dare to be ambitious?

Can I ever be open about my sexuality at my work? Should I be? My company, being a Europe based company, has non-discrimination policy but the glass ceiling still exist. There are no non-white or female high level managers in the company. Would I add an extra layer of ceiling to my progress by being out at work?

I love my job. I love my field. And I am good at it. Really good. But I am scared to dream big. I am scared of my growing ambitions. Partly because I do have some self doubt (I am not a narcissist)  and partly because I am not sure how far can I really reach. Am I dreaming too big? Should I consider my race, my gender and my sexual orientation along with my ability when I set up goals for myself?

* Image linked to its source.


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